


Murder by Cremation

by KXL (MissKXL)



Series: Trope Tuesday [3]
Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Discussions of Murder, Gen, It's DnD that's the universe, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 06:57:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12337743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissKXL/pseuds/KXL
Summary: Capturing the lawless monsters who ate people after burning them up was, apparently, the easy part.





	Murder by Cremation

**Author's Note:**

> What can I say? It's the Four Genuises in a DnD-like setting. Hell, I even made all four of them 5e character sheets. What are ya gonna do? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> This work is part of a series of writing exercises I do for myself called "Trope Tuesday." It's named after the trope I received for this week, which you can find [here](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MurderByCremation).  
> (I'm aware that it's Wednesday, not Tuesday, but I got slammed with work yesterday, so I wasn't able to write it until today.)  
> There will be more notes at the end, but for now, please enjoy.

Kaito was definitely not a fan of Kudou’s face at the moment. Kudou’s face at the moment was a face that clearly stated, “I am not going to allow you to throw those orcs into their own furnace,” and that was something of a problem considering Kaito _really_ wanted to throw the orcs into their own furnace and be done with it. The orcs had done it to _their_ victims (apparently bones picked fresh out of a crematory fire had the best marrow or something? Kaito hadn’t really listened, he’d been busy zapping their eyebrows off), so why couldn’t Kaito serve up a little justice?

But no, that would be too easy. No, instead Kudou had decided that he needed to interrogate the murderers, so he had had Hakuba set up one of his crazy divine truth spells and then he’d started assailing the leader with all sorts of queries. Who did they work for? How did they receive their money to keep their front business afloat if they never got any customers? Did they know anything about poisons? It was driving Kaito nuts. Even Hakuba, smarmy smug bastard that he was, had been content from learning their motives. Kudou seemed hellbent on deducing the orcs’ entire life stories.

Yeah, okay, Kaito had just about had enough of this. “Are you done yet?” he groaned.

Kudou shot Kaito the most withering stare he could, and yeah, it was a good withering stare, because Kaito felt like he was actually wilting a bit. “If you’re asking me that so you can kill them, no.”

“But Kudou, just – listen, hear me out.” Kaito jabbed his finger at the lead orc, who bared his teeth in response. “These guys you’re asking all those fancy questions? They’re killers. They killed people. They burned up their victims’ bodies for a tasty snack.”

“I’m aware.”

“Isn’t it fair, then? They’ve done some horrible things, so we should at least give them their own back.” Kaito carefully stepped around Kudou and Hakuba’s truth zone, mindful not to stray into the zone itself – Hakuba would pounce on him in an instant if that happened. The warlock stared into the dying embers of the furnace, basking in the warmth. “They’d probably get the death penalty anyway, right? Might as well. We’ve got a nice crematorium already waiting for us.” He turned back and grinned, and the orcs shied away from him as best they could. “Revenge is a dish best served cold, but I’m pretty sure it’s just as fine when it’s hot.”

“No, Kuroba.” Kudou stood up, dusting off his pants. “If we were to kill them, we’d be no better than murderers. I refuse to stand by while a murder happens in front of my eyes, even if the culprit is my traveling companion.”

Kaito clicked his tongue. Kudou was stubborn, and the warlock wasn’t quite sure if it was an endearing trait or an annoying trait. Leaning towards annoying right now, though. “What are we gonna do, then?” he challenged the ranger. “We can’t lug four orcs around with us. Even moving them back into town is going be to a hassle.”

Kudou eyed the orcs, one eyebrow perfectly raised. “They won’t run.”

“And how are you so sure of that?”

“Because if they try, Hattori will be pissed.” Kudou turned his contemplative gaze to the open door, beyond which Kaito knew Hattori was standing guard. “And if Hattori gets pissed, I have no way of stopping him.”

The orcs traded glances, clearly terrified now. Kaito, however, was more confused than anything. Kudou was perfectly capable of reining Hattori in if the situation called for it. Why was he lying? Hell, _how_ was he lying? Hakuba’s truth zone should’ve choked him the second he tried to utter a falsehood. Unless...Hakuba’s stupid truth zone must’ve worn off. Damn, and Kaito had been tiptoeing around like a fool.

Speaking of Hakuba, the paladin bastard poked his head back into the room. “Are you quite finished?” he asked with a hint of annoyance. “Hattori-kun is complaining quite loudly, and it’s becoming bothersome.”

From behind Hakuba, a much more annoyed voice shouted, “Like you’re any better!”

Kudou gestured to the orcs, and the four monsters heavily staggered to their feet. No one bothered to try and help them balance themselves as they struggled to walk while bound with heavy ropes. “You will wait out there,” Kudou ordered them, “and from there we will escort you to town to be arrested. If you try to flee, Hattori will most likely kill you. Play nice.”

The orcs nodded and hastily retreated, jostling one another to get out of the room fastest. Hakuba had to duck out of the doorway to avoid them, and when he finally reappeared, his usually-neat hair was more disheveled. “Are you coming?” he asked.

“I won’t be more than a minute,” promised Kudou, already turning away and towards the furnace. “Keep an eye on those orcs, please.”

“Fine.”

Hakuba retreated, leaving Kaito alone with the ranger. With nothing better to do, the warlock sidled over to Kudou to watch what he was doing. To Kaito’s surprise, Kudou dug his hands into the now-dead furnace, sifting through the ashes looking for.... “Hey, what are you looking for?” Kaito asked.

Kudou grunted. “Just – ah, here we go.” He pulled suddenly, and from beneath the ashes a single bone emerged. It was long – probably an arm bone – but oddly thin. Kaito had no idea what he was looking at. Kudou apparently noticed, because he elaborated, “Do you remember the woman who first told us about the rumors?”

“Sure.” Kaito remembered the woman well enough; even though she had a forgettable face, she had a remarkably shrill voice. “What about her?”

“And her daughter?”

“Yes. Kudou, what are you getting at?”

Kudou kept his eyes down, brushing ashes off of the bone in his hands. “When we split up for information, I went back to her to ask some more questions. When I arrived, she told me that her daughter had gone missing the night before.”

Kaito blinked. It couldn’t be....

“All the signs that I found pointed to the girl being abducted by the orcs.” The bone now thoroughly clean, Kudou reached around his back and tugged his pack around to store the bone inside. “The least I can do is give that woman something to bury.”

Dumbfounded as he was – that sweet little girl was dead, dead and gone, eaten by those _damned orcs_ – Kaito didn’t even twitch until Kudou had crossed the room and made it to the doorway. “I don’t get you,” the warlock spoke suddenly.

Kudou stopped in the doorway and glanced back. “Are you gonna elaborate?” he queried dryly.

Kaito whirled around. “How do you do it?” he demanded. “How do you look at those monsters, look them _in the eyes_ when you know that they’ve killed people, that they’ve killed an innocent little girl that you’ve _met_ – how do you look at them and not want to kill them?”

The ranger paused. Blinked. Leaned back against the doorframe, considering. Kaito slowly stepped closer, surprised to see how seriously Kudou was taking the question. It had been at least half-rant. Had the thought seriously never occurred to him? Kaito knew the guy was a pacifist and hated killing, but the urge had never crossed his mind even once? No, Kaito couldn’t believe –

“I have this dream sometimes,” Kudou murmured, so lowly that Kaito almost missed it. “A memory, actually. There’s a grand house in a small town, and in that grand house lives a murderer. This murderer has their crimes exposed, and the shock and despair of it all causes them to choose death. They set their house on fire and die within the blaze, all the while playing a melody of moonlight.” Kudou’s eyes slipped shut, and his face contorted as though he was in physical pain. “I watch from the sidelines, unable to help as they burn to death, forced to hear their last concert until nothing but ash remains.”

Kaito remained silent. What – what could he possibly say to that? “It’s not your fault that someone you caught committed suicide?” That wouldn’t fly. No, he couldn’t say anything to soothe the ranger, so instead he just...nodded. The warlock would accept their differences in opinion and leave it at that. It was all he could do for now. Maybe later, when they’d been traveling for longer than a few weeks, when they were actually friends instead of simple “traveling companions,” maybe then Kaito could say something.

Kudou sighed and pushed himself off of the doorframe. “Let’s go,” he said, seeming more like himself now. “We need to make sure Hattori hasn’t already tried to kill them.”

Kaito followed, sobered by the story, but even then he couldn’t help but joke, “You sure you didn’t mean Hakuba? Because I’m pretty sure Hakuba could’ve committed murder by now.”

“I don’t think he’d kill the orcs.”

“Not the orcs, Hattori. Betcha five gold they’re at each other’s throats.”

Kudou exhaled something approximating a laugh. Kaito relaxed just a bit. The door swung shut behind them.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully I'll be able to write more with this fantasy setting. I quite enjoy it. (And I've already come up with preliminary backstories, so might as well, y'know?)  
> I always welcome constructive criticism, so please feel free.  
> You can find me at my tumblr, [kxlinthesky](http://kxlinthesky.tumblr.com/).  
> Thank you very much for reading!


End file.
